A recent BuzzFeed post deemed Carole Radziwill's "If you're going to talk about me behind my back, at least check out my great ass" the Real Housewives franchise's superior tagline, but that was before Amy Schumer set her sights on the series.

The comedian, whose Inside Amy Schumer wraps up Season 3 this week, recently decided to throw her hat in the ring to be considered for a starring role on the wine-soaked, drama-heavy Bravo phenomenon, and in the mock-audition clip above, she's not holding back—not that she ever has.

"I'm real, I'm in the house a lot...I am not a wife, but I have had sex with a lot of married people," Amy assures a casting director. And though he puts her on the spot by asking her to pull a potential introduction byte out of thin air, she doesn't let the man see her sweat.

"I'm Amy, and I may look like a whore, but I am!" she poses. Ah, that one just rolls right off the tongue, doesn't it?

And as for location of choice—would Amy go for Atlanta? Beverly Hills? Nah, she's not so picky.

"I could be a real housewife of Newark, of Cincinnati—just throwing out ideas of cities!" Hey, production, that's called a team player. Get the contracts drawn up!

Whaddya think—should Andy Cohen call Amy up to the big leagues? Watch her pitch for yourself, and be sure to catch the comedian in Trainwreck, which hits theaters on July 17!

See Amy Schumer's most memorable characters:

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