The Academy Awards are this Sunday, and people are placing bets and getting generally riled up about who will be taking home Oscars. If time has taught us anything, however, it's that it's best to keep your cool this time of year, because in like 10 years you are going to be seriously embarrassed about that 'American Beauty' movie poster you had in your bedroom in high school...
You know what? Good. We want this guy to puke. He calls himself LA Beast and thinks a shirt that says "SWAG SWAG SWAG" is cool. The only reason we wouldn't want him to puke is that he has a whole YouTube channel that is just footage of him subjecting himself to "Xtreme" food challenges that ultimately result in barf, so we suspect he might actually enjoy throwing up...
There's only one thing that can erase all the hours of listening to people complain about how much they hate Valentine's Day. Can you guess what it is? It's looking at animals holding valentines! Let these pictures remind what this holiday is really all about -- putting your pet's head through a heart-shaped piece of posterboard. And hedgehogs. And otters. Happy Valentine's Day!
Being sad, alone and pathetic is sort of a specialty of mine. To give you an idea, I've definitely been humiliated by an airbrush artist at an amusement park, which I was visiting without any friends. So when it comes to Valentine's Day, I've basically mastered the art of being totally miserable. Feel free to join me, but it's going to be a pretty rough night. Let's get started, shall we?
According to these guys, this is the very last Harlem Shake video ever. According to us, when did anybody on the internet ever listen to anybody else? Still, it is a suitably (NSFW) violent ending to something that has been annoying us basically since the first time we saw it.
What better way to tell somebody you love them than with the words of the great people of Pawnee? 'Parks and Rec' very generously shared these Valentine's Day greeting cards on their Pinterest, and we think they're swell. Tell somebody that you don't hate them, or even adore them, and if it gets weird just say "Hey, I'm sorry, I thought you LIKED that show." And then never talk to them again. Happy Valentine's Day!!
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