Great, now I gotta stop drinking coffee. I can't take the risk of becoming any dumberer. I mean less smarter.

According to a new study in England, drinking coffee ameliorates women's brainpower in stressful situations, but makes men slower on the uptake. And because caffeine is the most widely consumed drug in the world, with Britons alone drinking around seventy-million cups of coffee each day, researchers say the implications are potentially staggering.

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