Gwyneth Paltrow Blames Leo DiCaprio for Her Diet and Really Hates How the Brits Say ‘Pasta’
It’s that time of year when Gwyneth Paltrow emerges from her fortified vegetable crisper and makes the press rounds.
This weekend, that included an interview with the UK’s The Guardian, where she expounded upon her struggles as a youth, dropped a few names, and made us all feel our diets are crap compared to hers.
You know, the usual.
The gist of the interview revolved around food because Gwynnie has, of late, evolved into a rather thin and pretentious Anthony Bourdain with the glutes of a young stripper. But even when it’s just food she’s talking about, she can’t resist mentioning her A-list pals.
“I hung out with Leonardo DiCaprio when I moved to New York,” she said. “He was vegetarian and he’d talk about how dirty meat is and how bad factory farming is. I haven’t eaten red meat in 20 years and although Leo’s not totally responsible he definitely planted a seed.”
It’s good to know Leo was required to read Upton Sinclaire’s ‘The Jungle’ in sixth grade, too.
But Gwyn wasn’t born with her current passion for organic, fair trade, fat-free entrees. She developed it at 19, when she first decided she wanted to act. This was when she made her “worst meal ever.”
“I only had aubergines and a jar of tomato sauce, so I thought I’d make eggplant parmesan but didn’t have a cookbook,” she said. “I made this hideous mess of bitter, burnt mush. But I served it. We were all starving, so we had no choice.” (Bonus points for using both “aubergine” and “eggplant” in the same sentence, G.)
It was during this time in New York that Gwynnie claims she subsisted on coffee, french fries and cigarettes — which probably should have been a chapter title in her new book. But eventually, as we all know, she married a Brit and moved to England.
“I’ve lived in England for 10 years and the accent is the most beautiful in the world,” she said. “Except for how you pronounce pasta as pass-ta instead of pah-sta. I’m sort of joking when I say this but I really don’t want my children speaking that way.”
Meanwhile, at the Paltrow/Martin compound, dinner is served: “You better not let me catch you saying ‘pasta’ like Bert in ‘Mary Poppins.’ He was a transient poor, and your napkins cost more than that man’s life.”