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Surprise! Lindsay Lohan Is Boozing in Brazil, and Michael Lohan Won’t Shut Up About It.

Lindsay Lohan
Pacific Coast News

In news that should be shocking to no one, Lindsay Lohan is drinking like a fish down in Brazil, where she’s promoting a clothing line and hiding under tables.

Lohan was spotted at Lollapalooza in Sao Paulo, where she wasted no time nor 80-proof.

Sources say the troubled starlet was “chatty and upbeat,” hopping from one show and venue to the next, frequently with a cup in hand, and that she gladly posed for photos with fellow concert-goers.

Perhaps Lilo was so happy because she pregamed before the concerts began. One witness said he saw her sipping vodka during a pre-Lollapalooza soiree at the Unique Hotel.

“She did not drink anything but vodka,” the spy said. “I saw her hands, while she was drinking and talking. And just before she left, she took a big sip and left the cup.”

One person not so upbeat about Lilo’s antics?

Her proud, opportunist papa, Michael Lohan, who’s holding Mark Heller accountable for her actions. Because she’s not an adult or anything. And because her upbringing by two hot messes clearly had nothing to with her being a hot mess herself.

“I am telling you now if you are with Lindsay in Rio or you booked it, and anything happens to my daughter, I am holding you personally responsible,” Michael ranted in an inexplicably open letter to Lohan’s maligned, arguably incompetent attorney (via Radar Online).

“Judging from what has happened to in the past, and the way she looks down there from the pictures in the media, it’s not a good thing,” Captain Obvious continued. “If you have anything to do with her being there, it’s on you. Count on it.”

It’s unclear just what sort of action Michael planned on taking, because Lilo’s a big girl now, but whatever.

La Lohan is still slated to hit more parties before she returns to the U.S. tomorrow (April 1). That is, if she bothers making her flight … which we know she’s not too keen on doing when she’s having fun.

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