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So Matthew McConaughey Looks Like This Now

matthew-mcconaughey-before-after
Pascal Le Segretain, Getty Images / ABC

Just a few short months ago, most of the undersexed women in America put down their tattered copies of overrated soccer mom porn (aka ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’) and lined up together to see Matthew McConaughey, Channing Tatum and some other hotties shake their smokin’ groove thangs in the movie ‘Magic Mike.’

If you’ve lusted after Matty M at any time before, during or after that movie, you may want to avert your eyes. Thanks to a new film role, he doesn’t look like that anymore.

The normally buff McConaughey now resembles a creepy transient in need of at least one can of trash barrel fire-roasted beans. It’s not pretty.

Unlike faux fat roles where suits can be worn to simulate weight gain, the only way to really look thinner (CGI aside) is to actually be thinner. So to prepare for his role as a mid-’80s AIDS patient in ‘The Dallas Buyers Club,’ McConaughey dropped 30 pounds — and his newly-skeletal frame is pretty damned shocking.

While we applaud his dedication to his craft and the serious subject matter involved, we just want to go ahead and give him his Oscar so he can go back to being the shirtless dirty beach-runner we all know and love.

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