To Be a Grinch or Not to Be a Grinch

So here we are into full Christmas mode.  I don't know about you, but every year I have to ask myself, are you going to be a Grinch this year, or are you going to get into the spirit of the holidays.  I'll be honest, I struggle with the holidays.

I tell people that Christmas is my favorite holiday, but in reality, it really isn't.  I am not a fan of Christmas at all.  Let, me just say, I like the actual day of Christmas, but the holiday season surrounding that day, I literally struggle with it.

Why am I saying this, especially when I work for the Christmas music station.  Don't get me wrong, I have to get myself into the Christmas mood.  I have to make it a point to say, I am not going to be a Grinch.  I struggle with this holiday because of the craziness and the loneliness.

For me the struggle with loneliness is real.  Through circumstances, I am a single momma, and it has been just E and I for a really long time.  Christmas is a very lonely time of year.  I do my best to try to make it perfect for Ethan, but I feel like I fail miserably.  When it comes to the holidays I think we find ourselves losing sight of what this holiday is about.  People are so concerned with finding the perfect present, making the perfect meal, finding the perfect dress for that Christmas party.  They find themselves working extra hours to make sure they have money.  It becomes this crazy whirlwind.

I see so many struggling with many things and it just makes me sad.  I single mothers struggling to make sure their kids have a perfect Christmas.  I see friends who want to crawl into a hole because they are faced with the fact they won't be with the people they love at Christmas.  I see singles dreading the holiday because they are once again alone on Christmas.

Christmas can be the loneliest time of year.  So how do you get past all this?

Well I'll tell you what I did, I put my big girl panties on and sucked it up.  I know my kid loves the holidays.  I did consider not putting up the tree this year, but I knew that would break his heart.  So I trekked out to my storage shed this weekend and dragged in all the Christmas containers and forced myself to decorate.  Yes, I said forced because I did not want to do it, but when we started hanging the ornaments, things started to change a bit.  Then the Nutcracker collection came out (I get E a new Nutcracker each year, it's become a tradition).  Then the Christmas Village went up and it felt like Christmas.

So what else did I do this year, well I actually decorated the outside of my house.  I haven't done this in 2 years.  I buy stuff to put in the front yard and the house every year, but it never goes up.  So yesterday was so pretty outside, I just gritted my teeth, grabbed the ladder and hung the lights, anchored down the inflatables and got it done.

I will say I felt accomplished.

Being that single mother I dread this time of year because I shouldn't be the one putting the lights on the house.  I should be the one in the house decorating and baking the Christmas treats.  But alas, life isn't perfect and I am woman hear me roar.  I got the Christmas lights up and this year I avoided being a Grinch.

So if you find yourself in this mind frame, "do I want to be a Grinch or not?"  Go for the not, don't become the green beast.  Put on your big girl panties, or your big boy pants and put up the tree.  Put up the lights.  As you are doing it, you might find yourself grumbling, but once it is done you will realize that yes, it was worth it and that heart may grow three sizes that day.

I guess it helps to remember that this holiday is about the people we love, whether we are with them or not.  It's not about the presents, it's not about the food, the parties or even the decorations.  It's about love.

So let's not be a grinch this year.