And what did we learn? Khloe Kardashian won’t take off her bikini, Kate Middleton’s baby bump has been out posing for pictures, Clint Eastwood is divorcing an alien, Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton are spawning, the Kardashians' deep, dark secret of being a totally fake family is out -- and all kinds of other really real stuff you’d have to read to believe.

This week, we learned Kate Middleton is craving sugary foods, Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux were secretly married (and then replaced with Folgers crystals), Blake Shelton made Miranda Lambert have a showdown, Khloe Kardashian-Odom was rejected by her real father, and all kinds of other really real stuff you’d have to read to believe.

This week we found out Kim Kardashian is pregnant and alone (again), someone is leaving One Direction, Miley Cyrus was jilted, Snooki lost a bunch of weight and has smaller hair (possibly related), Suri Cruise has a double, Jennifer Lawrence has an awesome life and all kinds of other really real stuff you’d have to read to believe.

This week, Jennifer Aniston cemented her status as the world's most fake-fertile celeb by getting fake-pregnant yet again, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag amassed an artillery worthy of a militia, Bobbi Kristina got pregnant, Bachelor Sean decided to save himself for marriage probably based on his options, Bruce Jenner realized he was married to a madwoman and all kinds of other really real stuff you’d have to read to believe.

Along the way, we learned that O.J. Simpson had some unexpected relationships in prison, Justin Bieber had an affair w