August Brings Some Great News For Wives; Bad News For Husbands
Fellow husbands, the time of great waiting is upon us. Soon, we will pass each other in store aisles as we wander aimlessly; wondering if and when our wives will ever allow us to return to our homes.
Ulta is coming to Target. It starts next month.
For our wives, this is fantastic news. Not only do they get a trip to Tar-zhey, but soon they will also be able to knock out a trip to Ulta all in the same trip. Honestly, that seems like a win for us.
Yes, fellow husbands, not only is Target going to be playing host to the products sold by Ulta, but you're basically going to be getting an Ulta inside of a Target. They're going to have specialized displays and "discovery zones." Discovery zones sound fun until I remember we're talking about Ulta and not a now defunct kids' entertainment franchise.
I'm not anti-Ulta. I'll be honest. That's where I bought my last bottle of cologne. What concerns me is the amount of time my wife and I already spend inside of Tar-zhey.
If you were wanting to create a kind of cosmic vacuum that makes time simply disappear, I think this is the very recipe for making it happen. In fact, I'm sure this is mentioned somewhere in the biblical book of Revelations.
For now, it looks like this isn't going to be rolled out to every Target store, just yet. But just like self-checkouts, I'm sure you'll see it soon enough.
Texas husbands in DFW, Houston, Austin, Plano, Katy, and McKinney need to be on high alert. You can get the full list of the first round locations here.
If you don't see your hometown listed, don't worry. Our wives will more than likely be looking it up online. Yes, it's going on the Target website as well.