It all started with the reports of a girl who licked some ice cream and then put it back in the freezer. Then it moved to a kid spitting in tea and putting it back on the shelf.

Now the flood gates are opening.

People are now peeing in Walmart.

While I've never looked at Walmart as a high-brow establishment, I never worried about someone defecating on what I was about to purchase. Two news stories have come out since this weekend of people PEEING in a Walmart.

One was a Porter, Texas teenager caught on camera peeing on a store shelf. Then, he tried to steal some beer. Loss prevention stopped him, took the beer, and sent him on his way. Later they would see on security camera footage that he had also peed on one of the store shelves.

Another report is of a woman who decided that the best place to "pop a squat" would be over some potatoes. At least she had the decency to turn herself in to the police.

What is wrong with people?

What the hell is wrong with people? I'm going to have to start a backyard garden and grow my own food from now on.

Nothing personal, I just don't think I can trust you anymore.

Seriously, for the love of all that is pure and holy in the world, STOP TRYING TO POISON THE REST OF US WITH YOUR DISGUSTING BODILY FLUIDS.

If you're a normal person who would never even think to do something like this, just be careful out there. Things have taken an asparagus scented turn for the worst.