Emerald Catron

Snooki is finally ready to show her baby to the world, and it is just slightly bigger than her enormous false lashes. Lorenzo and his mom appear on the cover of People magazine, and he is tiny and cute and appropriately tiny for a baby. (Though his hair is somewhat smaller than expected.)

You can call them by their proper name, “Waffle Chip Dippers,” all you want. Those, friends, are ice cream nachos. Baskin-Robbins is selling them at select locations for $2.99, which is significantly less than the cost of nachos that aren’t made out of ice cream, last we checked.

We’re angry. Angry that somebody would take the time to make a cheeseburger so gigantic that it’s actually kind of disgusting, and not even invite us over to have some of it. Well, Black Bear Casino, you can guess where we WON’T be going for vacation this year.

Children have some sort of magical power to do things that grownups can’t — if some jerk stood on the balcony overlooking the escalator and waved and said goodbye to every single person who went by, it could easily ruin your trip to the mall. For some reason, though, when little Chloe does it, everyone smiles and waves back and it’s completely adorable.

Try not to get too depressed that the Beanie Baby guy is a billionaire — at least he’s using his money for good, rather than evil. Ty Warner recently gave a woman who was trying to raise money for a medical procedure $20,000 for giving him directions.

Tired of regular, boring, emotionally unavailable news? Well then, this is the video for you because this melodramatic news reporter is very involved with his work. He’s emotional. He’s gesturing wildly. He’s smacking his notepad for emphasis. You really get the sense that it’s not every day a bus crashes into a house in Montgomery County, Maryland. And when one does, it is a BIG deal.

When the First Lady says she’s serious about healthy food, the First Lady means she is serious about healthy food. Even the First Dog, Bo, is not beyond reproach, and, after packing on a few pounds, is now on a diet. Yes, the dog is on a diet.

Well, we were feeling pretty proud of ourselves for finally looking up that Couch to 5k thing, but it’s going to take a little more than that to impress Phillippe Croizon. The quadruple amputee has made history by swimming intercontinental straits linking Oceania, Asia, Europe, America and Africa.