The Muppets make their return to network television tonight (September 22), with a self-titled sitcom that's being billed as more 30 Rock-style comedy than a direct reboot of The Muppet Show (this means there'll be much less singing). While Jim Henson's iconic felt creations are an American treasure, the quality of Muppet-related output has been WILDLY inconsistent since his death in 1990 — so there's certainly no guarantee this new be a home run with audiences. But you know who doesn't want it on the air at all? One Million Moms.

The name "One Million Moms" is actually a complete misnomer, since their Facebook page only has 78,201 fans (unless 921,799 of the moms have no hands and/or no access to the Internet). There's also no way to confirm whether they're even moms, or even actually women. Regardless: The group fears ABC's The Muppets will be, quote, of a "perverted nature," and they're circulating a petition about it.

You can either sign that petition, or you can enjoy this vintage number from The Muppet Show called "Tit Willow," in which Rowlf the Dog and Sam the Bald Eagle say "tit" and "dicky" over and over again. The choice is yours!

"The mature version of "The Muppets" will cover a range of topics from sex to drugs. Miss Piggy came out as a pro-choice feminist during an MSNBC interview," the 1MM petition warns.

It continues, "It is not the show it once was. ABC has ruined "The Muppets." How many parents want to explain the punchline of sexually charged jokes to young children?"

Have these figuratively-not-literally-million moms ever seen The Muppet Show? Jim Henson was always embedding his own progressive views into his programming, and the writers always included more jokes for adults than they did for kids. While The Muppets may attempt to grab viewers with cheap selfie jokes and perhaps work a little bluer in its 8 p.m. time slot than some would prefer (I haven't yet seen it), it hasn't been marketing itself as a show for kids. It's for grown-ups who remember the Muppets from their own childhood, even if they've forgotten all the jokes that sailed over their heads back then.

And now, here's 1978 Muppet Show host Raquel Welch disco dancing with a spider in a skimpy dress.

Maybe the show isn't for children, or the (allegedly) One Million Moms, and they can choose to skip watching. But a petition to prevent others from seeing it? I believe it was Janice, rare female Muppet and Electric Mayhem band member, who put it best in The Great Muppet Caper when she said, "Look Mother, it's my life, OKAY? So if I want to live on a beach and walk around naked..."

The Muppets airs Tuesday nights at 8/7c on ABC.

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