World’s Sexiest Bald Man Is Not Prince William, Actually Lives in Lubbock

By now, you've probably seen that truly ridiculous story that claims that Britain's Prince William has been named the "World's Sexiest Bald Man," beating out such luminaries as Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Jason Statham, Bruce Willis, Michael Jordan and Dick Cheney.

Seriously? THIS guy?

This just goes to show that the world continues its unhealthy fascination with inbreeding and status. By virtue of being a member of the lucky lineage club, Prince William has somehow taken the spotlight off of his younger, hairier brother, the appropriately named, Harry.

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How they chose this guy over The Rock, et al. is beyond me. However, here in the Sexiest City in West Texas (trademark pending), we have another bald man who should have taken the title clean away from Little Lord Royalpants.

The one and only...Wes Nessman, AKA WHITE CHOCOLATE!

Just try to tell me that our very own Wes Nessman, Lubbock's Most Beloved Radio Personality™, isn't exponentially sexier than Prince Albert in a Can. The man is 100 percent pure hotness.

Now, I know what you're saying. We may be a bit biased because we work with Wes every day. That may be true, but who has done more for our fair town, all while rocking a badass dome, than Wes? Yeah, no one.

If Chris Beard shaved his head, we may have a run at a new local number one, but until then, only one man in Lubbock can wear the crown of sexiness. Not just here, but worldwide. Change my mind.

Say 'yes' to the Wes!