The Internet strikes again with yet another delightfully horrible list of the best in Amarillo. We have yet another beautifully crafted tale of caution; a warning for you that you can't believe half of anything you see on the Internet anymore.
Go home Internet. You're drunk. You had to be, to come up with this list of the top 10 night clubs in Amarillo.
For The Love Of All That's Holy, Wiki Peaks! Could You Be Worse At Your Job?!
I recently wrote a response to a video done by Wiki Peaks regarding resorts in Amarillo. We don't have "resorts." We have fancy Airbnbs, quaint bed & breakfasts, and a seemingly unlimited supply of motels, hotels, and everything between.
Not a single "resort."
Forgive me for being an optimist. I saw another video they had posted regarding night clubs in town, and thought surely it couldn't be as bad as the last video.
Friends and neighbors, complete strangers; ladies and gentlemen, and those of you in-between; I am here to tell you this one is even worse.
Hands Down This Is The Worst Top 10 List On The Internet
Let's break this abomination of a half-hearted attempt down, shall we.
First, almost none of the places mentioned look like the photos attached to their description in the video.
Second, and more importantly, there's a good chunk of it that ISN'T even open!
That's right, friend. They filled out their list with nightclubs and bars that have been permanently closed for quite some time! In case you're trying to play moron's advocate and you're saying, "But Chuck, maybe it's an older video with outdated information..." As of the time of this writing, the video is a mere seven days old!
Bars Nightclubs Made The List?
Glad you asked. A few of my favorites, which I will always be happy to pass along a recommendation for, made the list. I just wish actual photos of these establishments made it to the video as well. I took screenshots while the video was playing, just to prove I'm not making this up.
Butler's Martini Bar
First, Butler's Martini Bar. I don't know that I would consider it a nightclub. I've never watched doe-eyed sorority girls take pills with cartoon characters on them on the dance floor there, all while trying to keep time to a driving bass beat in stiletto heels. I don't even think they have anything that would resemble a dance floor, now that I think about it.
It's a quiet spot, for the most part; one of the many things I love about it. Plus, I'm a sucker for a good double dirty gin martini. They make a mean one.
Midnight Rodeo In Amarillo?
The second entry on their list is Midnight Rodeo. Talk about an insensitive, cold hearted, kick in the nostalgia to anyone who ever went to Midnight Rodeo in Amarillo. Hey Wiki Peaks, I've got a bit of information that you probably need to put in your video.
Midnight Rodeo is a church now!
And it has been for a while. I feel bad for anyone who sees this video and shows up for a "root'n toot'n good time." You'll find one, it just won't be on a Saturday night with Randy Rogers on the overheads.
Esquire Jazz Club?!
Have you no shame, Wiki Peaks?! Esquire Jazz Club has been closed for a while too! It was heartbreaking when it happened. At the very least, you had the wherewithal to use a photo that actually represents the venue this time.
Too bad they're closed!
And not just closed. It's a completely different place now. They still serve cocktails, but that's about where the similarities end.
Coconutz In Amarillo
Okay, nothing against Coconutz. I've been there, and I enjoyed it. It was a nice bar to relax at for a bit. Had a beer, and then got on with my life. Bartender was nice. I recommend it.
But to suggest that Coconutz is a night club that is filled to the brim with the hippest of the party crowd, ready to blaze through the night in a music and booze induced trance is pure lunacy.
Austin's Pub Is Still In Amarillo?
No. It's Marshall's Tavern. Or it was. Their social media has been pretty quiet, and Google says they're permanently closed, so...
Are you even trying anymore, Wiki Peaks?
Also, the photo you used looks more like Drunken Oyster, but I feel at this point I'm just splitting hairs and spitting in the wind.
So, What's The Point? Who Really Cares Anyway?
I could keep going. I really could. The list just gets worse from here. You can watch the video above if you want to see the dumpster fire for yourself.
My point with all the ranting and raving is this, we live in a day and age where people have lost faith in the usual places they get their information from; and for good reason. In the never ending quest to get the bills paid, the new rule is "publish first, apologize later." How many times have we seen celebrities die and then come back to life in the headlines?
Make it sensational; we'll fix the problems later.
So you decide to "do your own research." The problem is that things like Wiki Peaks exist. There's no research done for this video, other than scraping what probably has a high review on Google, slapping some stock images on it, and then hitting publish.
If it's being done with night clubs and non-existent resorts, what else is it being done with?
Food for thought.