On Behalf of Everyone in Amarillo: What the Hell Was That?
Yes, I heard about it yesterday.
Yes, I saw the nice little weather maps with cute colors showing me exactly what was heading this way.
Yes, I was well aware that a freak blizzard would pummel us today.
Today. This seventeenth day of March in the year of our Lord, two thousand twenty one.
I do believe I speak on behalf of all the citizens in this (un)fair city when I say: What in the hell was that?!
For crying out loud, it was 75 degrees yesterday--I know this because I double and triple checked before typing up this entire post--for science. But then I woke up on March 17th, St. Patrick's Day, knowing full well that I had been warned about a blizzard coming. Multiple times on several platforms.
Yet....I still had the audacity to be shocked at this:
Pinch me, I'm screaming.
What kind of foolishness is that? How dare I be appalled that they said a blizzard was coming and a blizzard indeed did show up. How dare I have the nerve to say "Wow! This is some crazy weather!" as if I haven't lived in the Texas Panhandle for 20 years. I mean, really.
I'm going to talk about how cRaZy the weather is around here, as if I don't know full well that we had an....incident..last weekend where an outbreak of eight tornadoes ran hurly-burly up and down the Panhandle. Hide yo' kids, hide yo' wives, cuz those 'naders were coming for everybody that night.
Why on earth would I be surprised that the "Octo-nado Outbreak" would be followed up with a "Freak St. Patrick's Day Blizzard" not even half a week later? Why?
And what takes the cake is that after a solid few hours of a furious white-out storm opening a can of whoop-ass on the Bomb City--poof! It stopped. And wouldn't you know it, the sun hopped right on out of the clouds and started doing her thing. Roads cleared up, birds started singing, and all was Springtime again.
Somebody tell Mother Earth she just needs to calm. down.
This Amarillo weather is going to give me whiplash, I swear.