Sick Of Office Buzzwords? But Wait,There’s More!
Have you ever had a boss who only spoke in "Office Buzzwords?" It's possible you don't have a clue what they are saying. Your boss is using the latest in office lingo because they heard their boss use it.
I had a boss for a couple of years who dropped the latest in corporate buzzwords, thinking it may them sound hip and "with" it. It actually made them sound like they were incapable of passing along an idea, without dressing it up, with language they heard on the last conference call. Let's review some Office Speak oldies but goodies:
1. "Think Outside The Box.". Whoever came up with this gem, should spend eternity in hell. We've all thought "outside" the box for so long, it may be time to think "inside" the box for a while.
2. "Wrap My Head Around It." Do you mean you don't understand it? I'd like to "wrap" your head around it. "You need a key to the building? I can't WRAP my head around that." Fine. I'll sit in the parking lot until you get to work.
3. "Thought Leader." Wasn't Charles Manson a "thought leader?" Just because you have an idea, doesn't make it good. I'll pass on being led in my thoughts, thank you.
4. "My View From 30,000 ft." Unless you're flying aboard Air Force One, the view you should looking at, is on the ground, where everyone else in the world is. You are not a bald eagle.
Be prepared for a 2019 batch of office speak It's even more insipid:
1. "Set up a brown bag." This means your boss wants to have lunch with someone. But it's a quick lunch meeting. If he can get out of buying lunch, the overlords will love him even more.
2. "We're Not Boiling The Ocean Here." This must be the 2019 version of "it's not rocket science", only stupider. What do they say at NASA? "It IS rocket science?"
3. "I'd Like To Plant A Seed In This." First of all, ewwww, Second of all, unless your name is Johnny Appleseed, there will be no "seed planting" in this meeting.
4. "Kick It In The Long Grass." The boss is saying "Let's postpone this because..." We can't afford it" or "I can't grasp what you're saying" so let's talk about it next year,
5. "Let's Talk About If Offline." This is office speak for "We'll never talk about this again." The boss is too busy boiling oceans, or planting a seed, to think about something that's important to you.
Keep us up to date, on any new Office Speak you hear. Post your "favorites" in the comment section below.