Thankful Amarillo Is Not In Florida
For almost 20 years, I've seen or read, a story, everyday about some wacky dude in Florida, It would make more sense if it were the same guy, over and over again. But's it's always some new guy doing something really stupid. A new level of stupid.
Oh sure, there are a few nut balls in Amarillo, and I'm among them. But you'll never see me fooling around with rattlesnakes, the way Florida guys screw around with alligators. The magazine Texas Monthly, comes running when Oprah comes to town, or a millionaire sticks cars in the ground. Mercifully, they'll never have to cover someone throwing gators through drive-up windows.
The Miami Herald just ranked the best "Florida Man" stories. Here's some of the greatest hits:
1, Florida Man tosses a three-foot gator, through the drive-through at Wendy's. I'd cry like a four year old, if someone did that to me.
2. Florida Man slaps employees with a large lizard. I get the same reaction when I ask someone to work weekends. But why bring an animal into it?
3. Florida Man tied a 12-foot gator to a tree to keep as a pet. Again with the gator.
4. Florida Man, who collected flamethrowers, burns his house down. Ok, that's funny.
5. Florida Man dressed up as a pirate and got arrested for firing a musket at cars. Trying to ruin the 2nd amendment for everyone?
I will give Florida Men this-they have panache. It's almost like they are trying to outdo each other.
"Amarillo Man" sues Oprah over hamburger sounds great until you read that "Florida Man" bit off his girlfriend's thumb during late night visit to Taco Bell. No, I didn't make that up and yes, that's true.
Is there another state that compares to Florida? Let's us your thoughts below.