Worst Vacation Ever? Oklahoma’s Nightmare Free Market Museum.
What is the worst destination your parents dragged you to as a child? Was it some national monument that bored you to no end? Was it out into a mosquito infested wilderness in the heat of the summer away from your friends?
Did you ever make it to Oklahoma City's nightmarish free market museum known as Enterprise Square USA? Buckle up. This one is wild.
What You Come To Expect From Vacation As A Child
As a kid I came to expect museums designed for children to have a certain flair to them. Sure, they were educational. Usually that was wrapped in activities that were so fun that you barely noticed you were supposed to be learning.
One time I was taken to a place called Enterprise Square USA. There were puppets, video games, interactive displays and galleries, and most of all it was educational.
One snag though. It was a kids museum dedicated to capitalism and the free market.
It Was As Boring As It Sounds
If your museum culminates in a barbershop quartet featuring singing currency bellowing out a tune about the triumph of the free market system, and it's aimed at being an attraction for kids, you may want to revisit what you know about kids.
But that's what Enterprise Square USA was. In OKC, you could take your kids to this place and there were puppet aliens who had crashed landed and needed to drum up some scratch. There was a weird giant head made of TV screens trumpeting the benefits of limited government.
Video games included a stock market "simulator" and one game I remember attempting to play had you running your own business.
There was a "Hall of Heroes" type display that had giant faces of morose looking titans of free enterprise. You'd think with all the money they had, they would at least have a reason to smile for a photo.
There was a robot who taught you about supply and demand. Real riveting stuff when you're 9. I remember being confused, and pretty bored with it.
Then there was the singing money.
Unfortunately, You'll Never Know The Joys of Enterprise Square USA
Enterprise Square went away for good in 1999.
This was after 17 years of welcoming guests like Ronald Reagan, which is probably where my parents got the inspiration to take me.
The building has since been absorbed by OCU.